Pet Loss: Even in Death - Pets Teach Love
by Anne Black, Ph.D.
Pets have an amazing way of penetrating our veneer, moving through our protective armor, disregarding our emotional wounds and wiggling into the inner sanctum of our heart. With the enthusiastic wag of a pet's tail or an endearing purr, we can be melted by their affection—as our hearts open to receive their loyal devotion.
Demonstrating unconditional love is a pet's mission in life. Their very existence revolves around us, the significant people with whom they live—playing with us, cuddling with us, receiving food from us, waiting for us, delighting in being stroked by us—enthusiastically joining us in all of life's ups and downs, without judgment or uttering a single discouraging word. Pets place us right in the center of their universe. So why should it surprise us that their teachings—and love—should end with death? Is it possible that what these precious animals set out to teach us continues even after their bodies stop functioning? Perhaps the greatest lesson our pets want us to learn is to keep our hearts open-no matter how much it hurts—to feel the intensity of the love, without shutting down.
When we are forced to let go of a beloved pet, feeling the emotions that naturally surface can be daunting. All too frequently there can be a strong impulse to not feel the pain—to hide it, to medicate it, to push it away, to replace it with a distraction (sometimes even another pet). Not feeling to the depth of our loss can cause our heart to shut down, hardening us. Not feeling the pain also prevents us from feeling the joy of life. And when this happens, life loses its luster—and we find ourselves operating in a narrow range of emotions.
Conscious awareness and work is required to stay open when a loss occurs—and the loss of a pet is no exception. Each person will grieve in his or her own unique way. Each person must take the responsibility to monitor and facilitate their own healing, unless working with a grief specialist who will help to guide them through the process. Each person will navigate through the feelings and this adjustment period either receptive to or discounting of the inner impulses sent to help encourage healing. Conscious grieving means paying attention and acting on the signals being sent to inform us that we have healing work to do. These signals may indicate that energy needs to be moved, thoughts need to be changed, or we need to shower gentle care on ourselves. Our being (mind, body and spirit) wants to guide us through this time of transition. In fact, this time of grieving can actually open us—and soften us—and strengthen us—and help us tap into a more compassionate way of being in this world.
Our pets are our teachers, both in life and in death. The memories—and the love—will always be with us. The essential lesson we have to learn is that the heart, in its natural state, is always open—open to the love, open to the pain, open to whatever life brings. Keeping our heart open takes awareness and a commitment to our own growth. As you journey through the early days and months of adjust to life without a cherished pet, may you also maintain a continuing body with their spiritual essence, knowing that love is not confined to a physical body. Love is eternal and the connection you had with your living pet does not need to end in death. Your pet modeled how to be the love. Now it is your turn to live the love your pet showed you while walking in a human body.
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Comfort Baskets, Inc.
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